How low can we go?

The gods of weather are a competitive bunch.  Word got out that the nigh-impossible happened:  snow fell in the warm southern lands from which I came.  Even more amazing, the snow actually accumulated and remained on the ground in snow form!  I can remember that before I left to conquer the northlands with naught but a battered sword, an extra-soft loincloth, and a six-pack of root beer, I experienced snowfall maybe a half-dozen times, but only half of those had enough to do anything with.  One year we wiped out the snow from half of the large backyard to make a snowchild about 2 feet tall.

So the local weather god sat on his golden throne and considered.  How could he show that he was truly the most powerful and jerk-like of them all?  At last he stood.  “If cold weather impressed them, I’ll give them a dose of cold they won’t forget until their children’s children are old and grey.  And even then they’ll have newspaper clippings.  Bwah-ha-ha!”

We broke the record the last two nights.  Last night it got down to 6 below.  Not 6 below freezing, 6 below zero.  The previous night?  -19.  About 50 degrees below the freezing point of water.  Now that’s just ridiculous.  Once the water freezes, the rest is just overkill.

Well done, local weather god.  You truly proved that you’re number 1.